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@ Monday, September 08, 2008, 11:12 PM

every year during the ramadhan, i always catch a glimpse of an accident. why is that, i do not know. it was never every other month but this in particular. it never fails to brings my heart to a sink.
.
today, i was weak.

i was weak because the cough isnt getting better. i can hardly talk else i'll keep coughing. it sucks.

i was weak because i couldnt bring myself up. i wondered and kept thinking if im happy. is this what i want. something brought up previously still lingers. it may not seem a big deal but like i told you, to me it is. its been playing in my mind, flashing when im doing nothing. i stayed quiet so it doesnt seem to matter.
.
perhaps.

perhaps it really is just me. i get scared and then i go all weak. you told me to control but im sorry if i cant. please accept me for who i am. i need a support -one i can fall freely into even when i fall on my back. like some time, i aint so sure again. im sorry. but right now, im going with the flow.

.
trigger.

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